Sunday, April 7, 2013

Just an Anecdote

Angela's father left the old country many years ago. He stole a lot of money from the stupid peasants there, and when the communists came to power and threatened to make him return the money, he fled to a British protectorate, and finally, to America, taking all the money with him. He set Angela up with twenty-five years of education, and some of his friends got her a nice government administrative job, full of benefits, fixed pay raises, and lifetime employment. She is too important and educated to perform functions herself, so she works as a supervisor for those who actually do the stuff.

Angela is contemptuous of immigrants. They might be dangerous. The people underneath her work hard to keep Americans safe from the wrong kind of people. The government pays her well for it, drawing from the tax base of people who have to actually produce things in a climate of uncertainty, in order to salary and benefit Angela.

Angela hates it when people try to get something without paying. It's lazy ingrates like those who are bringing this country down.

Angela was having such a good time being professional that she forgot about the rest of life. She hit her late thirties and suddenly realized she had to have a baby. Now. Now, god dammit. But all the men are gone. Aren't they?

Wally worked his way up from nothing. He is smart, and he knows it. He doesn't want a handout from anyone, so when he wants to go to an expensive college, he gets a big government-subsidized loan and slides into a program for military contractors. He works hard at his classes, learning how to work on grant projects for the federal government, making marginal improvements to weaponry systems under no-bid contract regimes. By the time he's out of college, he has a job all ready for him: the government has billions of tax dollars ready to offer to people who can't produce anything useful in the outside world, and they want Wally to help coordinate teams that adjust and test pre-existing equipment so that appropriations committees can look through reports showing justifiable improvements and bringing jobs to their state.

Wally pays off his student loans, including all of the special subsidized below-market, no-security interest-rates he received. He works hard for the government, making sure that safety requirements are met on $600 million dollar wartime projects that get canceled before production every time the Senators renegotiate factory locations and final project specifications. He doesn't want a handout from anyone. He's worked hard and he knows it. He does some investing and buys a nice place.

Wally has arrived.

Oops! Wally's hitting middle age. He completely forgot about life, because he was so rough, independent, and conservative. He understands the way the world works and isn't like one of those lazy people who tries to live from handout to handout. People like him built the free market. But, like, shouldn't he get married, or something?

Wally and Angela get together. They hit off right away, because they both understand what it is like to rise to the top on merit, gumption, and hard work. Angela's family has money, and approves of Wally's work helping the government spend tax money blowing up dangerous, swarthy little kids back in the old countries. Both Wally and Angela understand how unfair it is that something called "the economy" is making life hard for other people because of these other-other people that want handouts--Angela and Wally are disgusted with those who can't do things on their own. Believe it or not, there are people out there who actually can't accomplish things by themselves, and who try to get help for it. Natural selection and evolution prove that they have risen to the top on their own greatness. It would be wrong, artificial, and unnatural to give inefficient welfare programs to those who just don't have what it takes.

So, they get married. It's a match made in Heaven, until they realize that over a year of desperate attempts at intercourse hasn't resulted in the child they're supposed to have.

Luckily, they both make a lot, so they consult with the finest fertility specialists in the country. Surely, given their comprehensive benefits packages, they can find a solution to this unfair problem. Doctor after doctor works with them and their insurance providers, and they try out different solutions. It's tough going, but with enough attention from the top people over a course of several months, they're able to overcome natural barriers and buy insemination.

Omigod, you mean, I have to watch this thing? Let's find, like, one of those Mexican chicks who watches kids for seven bucks an hour, all right? Once she raises it, and we buy it college and put it in a good job, we'll have done our part to make this country great.

No comments:

Post a Comment