Friday, October 3, 2014

Trans Class


It's old news by Earth 2014, but when we begin creating cancer-resistant soulless automatons, everyone knows that class will play a factor. Most people will probably be able to afford to buy a blonde hair/blue eyes combination. And the anti-cancer traits, which will turn out a hundred or so years later to be deadly and sterilizing, will be required by law. But user-controlled metabolisms? Always Perky™ tits? Custom nose shapes and ass-plumping? À la carte options will be the realm of the few, who will all buy 5'11" girls with Always Perky™ deluxe packages and tiny waists, 6'6" guys with permanent hairlines and massively circumferenced penises. And then the underclass will develop into Morlocks (albeit with fewer tumors, more blond hair, more blue eyes, and integrated iBrains, because a rising tide lifts all boats), there will be a race war, and President Trump will make the tough decision to detonate the Morlocks' iBrains, killing all of them but for a small sexy group of survivors who breaks into the White House at the last minute, catches President Trump interrogatively banging some four-year-old terror suspects, and makes an impassioned plea to the surface-dwellers via neurocam, thereby reuniting humanity inside of 94 minutes.

That, we all understand, because genetic engineering is genetic engineering. And we sort of think, from this perspective, that we'll be "against it" when wealthy parents begin having intra-C-section abortions for children who turn out to be ugly, or children whose mid-delivery scans indicate a predisposition toward small breasts. And we're even more sure that we'll be against it when those same parents walk into the local Offspringers (think the Apple Store, but with animatronic latex dolls instead of austere aluminum boxes) and register their "wishlist" of genetic traits for their friends to buy them.

Thank you for viewing our Offspringers registry! For our little BRYCE PARKER JOHNSON , we'd like:

(1) Fingernails that only grow to "clip length." We all know how troubling it can be to clip a baby's nails, and later in life, many adults can still be seen biting on their own...Click for full description. (Still Available!)

(2) Chin width increase package (2.5" - 4", upgraded in units of 0.25"). Besides making a boy appear more mature and a man appear rugged and healthful, chin width offers your child a number of non-cosmetic benefits, including: easier future dental surgery, easier potential mastication strength, higher percentage chance of success at job interviews, increased likelihood of being...Click for full description. (0.75" still available!)

(3) Phallus length increase package, range two (8" - 12", upgraded in units of 0.5"). One of our most popular options for years running. Research has shown that a man with a larger penis is more likely to have...Click for full description. (All units for this item have been purchased--thank you!)

(4) Herbal Health package for the Straight Man. Just a small alteration to your child's DNA, and an injection shortly after birth to supply elements the body is not yet able to make, will supply your child with a lifetime of herbal benefits, including permanent deodorant--undetectable sacs under the arms and along the back alleviate the discomfort and social embarrassment of body odor. Not only will your child enjoy the convenience of this option, think about how much he will save on purchasing deodorant over the years! This package also includes Digestive Fragrance, triggering a light strawberry scent to conceal the odor of a man's "farts." Never be caught flatulating, BRYCE PARKER JOHNSON. Some parents ask, "Won't this make my child uncomfortable, smelling good all the time?" No! Actually, none of the herbal implants are triggered until the child's sweat glands, or digestive system, have already begun...Click for full description. (Still Available!)

More Options

And isn't it still the same class issue with transsexuals? And everyone else, for that matter. Richer people can afford to come out; poorer people can't. Men who work as crossdressing university professors in humanities departments can proudly become women; men who are the assistant night managers at Burger King cannot. The idea that LGBT stuff which occurs in America is about equality is--as MLK observed about civil rights without money and war taken into the equation--futile, if not false. The most successful MTF transsexuals are the ones who can "pass," by paying for, and taking the time for, doctor's visits and psychiatrist visits, constant monthly medications, extra over-the-counter body modifications, clothes, sultry chokers, hip/gluteal shapers, chin bone shaves, neck bone shaves, and of course, tits or vaginas, and before too very long, the wealthiest FTMs will be able to buy working cocks and real facial hair, overshadowing the poor schmucks who can only afford to be a man on the inside.

What does that say about trans movements? Here's a thought experiment:
Personally, I feel that, in my heart of hearts, I am a Lamborghini owner. My friends, some of whom have bought their own Lamborghinis, tell me that they always will feel in their hearts that I'm a Lamborghini owner, but I still don't feel included. When we go to car shows, people laugh at me when they look at my Civic, even though I explain that I'm really a Lamborghini owner.
Yeah, so what--some bodies are Civic-equivalents even if you already belong to the right sex, to condense the metaphor in too-few words. Nonetheless, those who can afford it buy the best, even if it's just clothes and primping, and that does count for something. So what does it say that an equality movement is based so heavily around things that can be purchased by some and not by others? What does it add that those who have the cash and power to purchase those things do purchase them for themselves--and consider them an absolutely necessary, fundamental human right--even if they say, while they do it, "Even those who can't afford to be like me still deserve the same treatment as a man/woman"? A hundred years later, the sexiest rhino-kitten-bats will be the ones who can afford the whole package, while those who can only afford the tail will be snickered at. There's something going on there, even if it's completely unintended and unseen by those who can afford to have loud mouths.

Maybe it's something along the lines of "check your privilege," except in actuality this time. The handicapped poor white man from the Ozarks is not "privileged" over an African-derived black man from London who moved to the U.S. in 2008 to teach at Stanford, or over a sorority girl at USC whose father is worth $200 million. But the Queer Studies ACLU lawyer who reveals he was born as a woman is privileged over a Walmart stocker in Kentucky who can't come out as a woman because it would cause his grandmother to kick him right out of the house, and it's rich of that lawyer to lecture a nation full of people who can't afford to say what they really feel. Frankly, he doesn't know how many people are living a lie that they have to live. Is it 1 in 4, or is it 7 in 10? Until there's a guaranteed income (and maybe not even then), that lawyer is spending a lot of his effort writing hoity-toity articles for The Atlantic that have zero effect on Charlie being able to be Charlize, even though they really warm the hearts of the tiny subset of people who can buy the right to a public opinion.

There will be no more Cinderella stories possible, because, like the destruction of net neutrality, genetic neutrality will be overridden in the new reproduction farms: the stuff on the shelf that no one wants will be priced at a level appropriate to the peons, so their children won't just be ungroomed--they'll be literally ugly, in every case, scraping the bottom of the barrel in order to more firmly establish the caste standard that we're all chasing. Actually, the drive to improve medicinal control over reproduction is an attempt to eliminate the Cinderella; the Buttercup; the tendency that natural childbirth has of producing people far more attractive in the aggregate than inbred bankers, actors, or the British imperials.


  1. I have decided to cross post this and see what happens.

    If I have natural blonde hair and blue eyes (and I do), ya think I could make some kind of deal to sell my genomes or something? I got no problem selling them to the highest bidder, come one, come all! (PS: long time ago, Philip K Dick promised me I could make money doing this!) Although I hear they got all the blonde-blue eyed genes they want from Iceland. If so, that's bad news for us American blondes, since the Iceland blondes are blonder than we are; we are sandy blonde and Sissy Spacek-reddish blond and all like that. We ain't pure up in here. This is America!

    Shoot :(

    Speaking of PKD, the good news is that us un-improved specimens will be dumber and considered inferior and finally ignored... and thus, the perfect place to do some espionage and destroy the social order. They won't even be looking in that direction.
    (I guess these people haven't read PKD? Their loss!)

    This post rocks. I am cross posting it on Tumblr, so be advised... the herd of independent minds over there aren't exactly up for class war.. but weirdly, THEY THINK THEY ARE, so that is why I *must* post it there.

  2. This is all so obvious, yet we have the tech-philiac tech-utopian dimwits who "can't wait for the future", when all these amazing new technologies will finally perfect the entire human race etc.

    Fuck these people in particular.