Thursday, September 3, 2015


Every time there's one of those dog attacks--you know the kind...pit bull mix raised by neo-nazis mauls cute 90 lb. brunette when it breaks out of its owner's apartment while the brunette is coming home from the fitness center--all of the dog people are like, "Ohh, it's such a pity the dog wasn't well trained," and then, "The brunette should have used 'calm/assertive' behavior to signal to the dog that she was an alpha dog, because when she turned and ran, she triggered its 'chase' response."

What happens when all those brunettes do try to be calm/assertive in the face of the charging dog? Presumably, all of the pro dog trainers start warning us to avoid eye contact, to avoid appearing threatening, to be "assertive, but not aggressive," and so forth. There'd really be no way to please them, because how do you tell whether someone was merely "assertive" rather than aggressive, unless you have not only video feeds of the entire attack, but also EKG and EEG results from prior to the attack, along with testimony from experts on canine/human facial interactivity? And even then, the experts would disagree with each other. So I'm afraid the only thing we can do is to just turn it over to the pit bulls right now.


  1. I've never been attacked "for real" by a dog, just threatened I suppose, but I've always wondered, how hard can it be to subdue an attacking dog, given the size differential. Granted, I"m not a 90 lb brunette, but I'm no hulk either. Even if it bites into your hand, given the stakes and the adrenaline, if you just drop on top of it and choke it with the other one, I can't see how any but the largest of dogs could deal... And if they don't happen to get a bite, if you grab the collar, what are they going to do?

  2. The brunette had it coming.

  3. So true.

    Anonymous the First, if you run from a dog, it can "pounce" on you from behind, knocking you down with its paws. The serious attacks on adults are usually on women or senior citizens who ran or panicked, thus why it's appropriate for dog people to offer them advice as to how to "dominate" a larger dog. And plenty of the pit bull mixes are big SoBs, not just muscly little pit bulls.

    Most of the incidents, though, involve kids rather than adults. Just google "pit bull attacks child," and you'll get a mix of real news stories, plus people showing how wonderful their pit bull is with their kid.