Monday, March 12, 2018

A Failure of Passion

Jesus came to Earth. He was the Son of God and He was God Himself and He wanted to save you and you know He understands your troubles, your pains, like no one else can. He has suffered everything that the world can throw at a person, the worst of it, all for you.

When Jesus was born into this world of His strange virgin parents, He was immediately seized by agents of a corrupt state and placed into foster care. His real parents spent twenty years in prison while being mocked on television worldwide for being stupid incestuous rednecks. In the meantime, Jesus was abused by his foster father and his foster father's 25 perverted friends, had his sphincter torn and his penis pummeled and his face mutilated as part of sick sexual rituals. When their foulest appetites had been sated He was forced to don a "little French maid" outfit and serve them drinks while they watched old reruns of The Price is Right. He was filmed during these acts, too, and in the weeks before His high school prom some IT genius patched these clips of Him, in his "little French maid" costume, onto all televisions in the school.

If you have ever suffered anything like this, you will know that Jesus knows your pain.

As an older boy, Jesus was recognized worldwide as the offspring of that incestuous scum His parents were widely known to be, and their misadventures in prison, being sequelized internationally for eighteen years running, were a constant source of believed, albeit incorrect and wrongful, embarrassment and shame. Besides the "little French maid" movies showing young-Him which were projected schoolwide during the season of his senior prom, Jesus was falsely accused of impregnating a local girl, and featured for weeks in the local paper, with frequent allusions drawn between the young lass' wrongful descriptions of Jesus' turn-ons, and her tearful regret over the abortion whose necessity she blamed Him for.

If you have ever suffered anything like this, you will know that Jesus knows your pain.

When finally out of high school, Jesus sought labor, was wrongfully terminated when He refused His boss' offer to maintain employment in exchange for un-biblical sexual favors, and was kicked out of His apartment. Living homeless in the Midwest, He was sodomized repeatedly by members of a local homosexual gang, barred from several shelters due to sins for which He had not been responsible, and left with nothing but the streets for sustenance. Whenever He found an item of food to scavenge, it had been ruined--every. single. time.--by urine which had been promptly delivered by a local dog. But He had to eat it anyway, and if this is you, He understands your pain.

After a year, Jesus was wrongfully identified as the man responsible for repeated acts of vandalism and treachery at a nearby military base. He was subjected to torture, including a crown of razors that had to be re-installed every time it fell loose due to its intense ability to cut His humanlike skin, making it much more painful than a mere crown of thorns. When sufficient crowds did not show up personally to witness the results of His torments, but stayed home because they didn't even care enough about His torments to watch them in person--television was fine for them, if they weren't watching crime dramas instead, which they found far more interesting than anything to do with that weirdo walking around in rags and razors again--the top generals decided to just keep him in military prison with a 24 hour feed that people could tune into if they cared. Millions of invitations went out with discount offers on cable TV packages if people would just show up to club the prisoner a little bit, but very few people wanted to make the drive because they just didn't care about Him for better or for worse. So the generals gave their nasty lust full privileges. Jesus had to insert thorned catheters up his urethra three times a day, and after a few days, burning thorned catheters. He was sodomized by perverted guards almost constantly, until his ragged frame was finally sentenced to be transferred to a rickety wheelchair, when his legs and arms were all sawed off without anesthetic.

If you have ever suffered anything like this, you will know that Jesus knows your pain.

The evil government created innumerable social media accounts with Jesus' name and picture and verified buttons, then used them to pretend to support hundreds of unpopular causes, and Jesus had to suffer the shame for all of this. Many mothers who had remained faithful until that moment finally barred their children from accepting Jesus as King after seeing His picture smiling next to not just NAMBLA, but the Donkey-Human Marriage Advocates and the Pro Floods Association.

This world is complicated and hard, but Jesus understands. He has gone through it all too.

The worst thing about Jesus' passion is that, to prevent contemplation from easing the burden, He was deprived of any knowledge of the future while going through this. Like the lowliest of His worshipers, present and future, He had to believe He was mortal, that this was all there was, and that His body would turn to dust, leaving behind a society of sadistic perverts whose genetic legacy would not even care enough to defame Him later, but would simply forget He had ever existed.

The Passion

In Paradisical Slices and Happiness and Salvation, we've discussed some of the ways in which the "don't think, goyim; just obey" version of Turkish-evolved Judaism, a.k.a. Christianity, constructed paradise narratives that, like its many since-observably-disproven backstories, were not comprehensive nor consistent, such as how one is to be selfless, forgiving, yet enjoy a paradise that does not include loved ones (or merely others) who are being tortured forever or from whom you must be perpetually separated. A modern Jewish opiate for the masses might include a pre-loaded rationalization for rejecting loved ones from a shared community, which we somewhat see laid out in anti-ist Bangism.

An interesting component of this firmament-like staleness of the Judeo-Christian story is the Passion of the Christ, wherein some social rejection and physical pain is considered an apex of suffering which can reassure gullible people that "Joey Johnson at Joey's Used Cars Knows How Much You Rely On That Car."

People spending three years dying of liver cancer while ineligible for a transplant, just to pick one of millions of examples, suffer more incredibly and profoundly, in the physical department, in just the parts of that three years during which drugs are fading in or out, and not counting anything else bad that's happened in their entire lives, than a crucified Jesus would or could, because the duration of their pain--say, 700 days--far exceeds His. Not to mention people who've lost a loved one, lost a loved one in exceptional circumstances, lost six loved ones, all their loved ones, had to deal with that for ten or fifty years, et cetera.

More importantly, always, Jesus being God would have known that everything would turn out all right, since He theoretically designed the entire process, therefore He never had to experience the worse fate--that of thinking that this was it; that His suffering would maybe not be rewarded, nor even reviled, but be pointless. An aristocratic fancy, really, to pretend that spending a few years being occasionally clubbed or stabbed is comparative to the total misery of the human experience. Since an all-knowing god would've known that anyway, pretending that He "went through" some human-like experience, and that's why He knows something, is an insult to Him as well as to anyone who's supposed to revere that Him or think that what He supposedly went through is in any way comparable to the human experience.

Jesus of the Passion didn't have to worry that He would be forgotten, perpetually unknown despite everything He'd ever done or suffered, or that not one single person would ever at least think, "Wow, that was something." Multifaceted millions of types of suffering and loss would remain incomprehensible to Him, unless He were so wise and all-knowing that there was no point in a Passion.

As before, the schism between rationalisms for the stories and plausibilities for the stories is about as concrete as, unsurprisingly, the (quite similar, and drawing from the same set of goals and agendas) Hollywood product...made around 1,700 years ago, with very little real-time potential audience feedback, and a different set of multicultural expectations for what a hero should go through to be a hero, et cetera. It was fine, then, for a story to be non-universal, and instead of sticking with it, the later editors have gone through several volumes explaining how sexually abused young girls dying in a too-rainy month in Philadelphia can find an understanding friend in the Christ who was, um, beaten some in the desert. The uncreative tortures in imaginary 33 A.D. (300s-ish A.D.) cannot compare to a more modern battery of tortures, including, say, waterboarding with sleep deprivation and genital-biting dogs and global mockery, let alone the more mundane mortal concerns about the cessation of existence and the perpetual misperception of one's existence by all bipedal mammals forever.

No comments:

Post a Comment